Twenty Sannin Truths
by Calliope Epsilon
Summary: Twenty truths about Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru. Errant Sannin nothings in dramedy.


**twenty truths about the sannin**

**by cal-chan**

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1. When Jiraiya learned his first real, powerful jutsu, he accidentally-on-purposely used it on Orochimaru. Sarutobi was furious, but then Tsunade broke his nose and an arm, and that was it. As for Orochimaru, well, he was grudgingly impressed.

2. Orochimaru didn't like Nawaki. Jiraiya got along fairly well with him.

3. They both didn't like Dan, though in slightly different ways. Jiraiya thought Dan was a pansy. Orochimaru just didn't like him.

4. Tsunade was first to agree when people called Jiraiya a pervert. She was first to disagree when they said he would't amount to anything.

5. She was on neutral ground when they said Orochimaru was gay.

6. Orochimaru gave Tsunade a very wounded look every time she exclaimed heavenward that she couldn't believe she got stuck _on a team filled with perverts_. (Jiraiya and Sarutobi simply ignored her)

7. Jiraiya was the first one to be a teacher. Tsunade scoffed at his goofy student, and Orochimaru actually took the time to raise an eyebrow at him. Still, Tsunade admitted that his student was a good kid (who _didn't_ deserve a teacher like _Jiraiya_), and Orochimaru acknowledged that he_did_ havetalent.

8. When Orochimaru chose a little purple-haired girl as his student, only Sarutobi noticed how she was an uncanny mix of Tsunade and Jiraiya.

9. Tsunade got a student, too. Shizune is a nice girl with lots of potential. On the day Shizune was assigned to her, Tsunade sat Jiraiya down and told him very explicitly that he would **_SUFFER_** if he laid a hand on her student. Unfortunately, this only encouraged him to believe that her student was worth it. (It wasn't.)

10. Orochimaru can actually beat Tsunade and Jiraiya at all their games. He can beat Jiraiya in less than five seconds at any board game—and he can certainly hold his liquor much better. He also could have been a better medical ninja than Tsunade. He just let both of them think otherwise.

11. He doesn't know why.

12. Jiraiya always thought Tsunade was beautiful. Even as a kid, it was clear to him that it would be a lie if he said she was ugly. So he resorted to other names instead. Like "flat-chest".

13. Tsunade may have been skinny back then, but it wasn't long at all before Jiraiya's nickname was such a blatant contradiction to the truth that he stopped using it.

(That, and he one day found that she had learned how to punch through brick walls with her bare hands.)

14. Tsunade, in turn, was the first who called Jiraiya a pervert. At the beginning, it was not _technically_ true—Jiraiya didn't realize that what he was doing was wrong until Tsunade bashed his head in and ran around Konoha proclaiming to the world _what a pervert_ he was.

15. As for Orochimaru, Jiraiya was the first to crack a joke about him being gay. His snake-eyed teammate didn't care, but he alsodidn't realize how inefficiently Jiraiya spread it. "Orochimaru_ not only_ attracts girls…" became a very, very different story.

16. Orochimaru never helped himself out by denying it or anything. He assumed that it was a waste of time.

17. Tsunade once asked him outright. Orochimaru looked at her with an exasperated expression that either said, "Does it _matter_?" or "What do _you_ think?". She didn't know which.

18. Jiraiya once asked him outright, too. Orochimaru was by then so annoyed that he rolled his eyes and replied, in a dead serious tone, "No. But I _am_ a pedophile."

19. Jiraiya once asked Tsunade to marry him. This was after Dan died and before she left Konoha. She said no for many reasons, but not for the reasons Jiraiya thought.

20. While they all left Konoha, none of them ever forgot it. They all thought of it every now and then, and they all thought of it as _home_. Jiraiya as a home he could go back to, Tsunade as a home she was running away from, and Orochimaru as a home he could one day call his and only his.

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_Spawned after I came across the Twenty Truths place on lj.Fun stuff. I can't claim to be completely original in this; check out the lj and you'll see why._

Actually, this was in my computer for weeks and weeks already. I just kept forgetting to post it. Hehe. Sorry.


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